Let's post your Jokes ;)

[aisya]

Spelling Mistake

A Small Boy Took A Knife
And Wrote His Girlfriend’s Name 0n His Hand..
After A Minute He Started Crying Loudly..
Why
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... .
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Paining ??
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No !!
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Then ??
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Spelling Mistake !!!

[Anis_WN]

How to spell 'double u' ?

dee-o-yu-bee-el-ee-yu

[aisya]

^Let's take a short cut . its W sir'

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Boy: Marry me.. ?

Girl: Do you have a house.. ?

Boy: No..

Girl: Do you have a BMW car.. ?

Boy: No..

Girl: How much is your salary.. ?

Boy: No salary.. but,..

Girl: No but....
       You have nothing..
       How can i marry you.??
       Leave please!!!

Boy: (talk to himself) I have one villa, 3 property lands, 3 Ferrari, 2 Porsche.. Why I still need to buy BMW.?!
        How can I get the salary when actually I'm the BOSS..

Well boy dont worry, you got me

[mesmerized haze]

Spelling Mistake

A Small Boy Took A Knife
And Wrote His Girlfriend’s Name 0n His Hand..
After A Minute He Started Crying Loudly..
Why
.
... .
.
Paining ??
.
.
.
No !!
.
.
.
Then ??
.
.
.
Spelling Mistake !!!

stupid boy     

I guess he never heard about henna,
it's saver, no pain and available in 3 colors
can stand for 3 months for some brand or at least 2 weeks

silly boy 

[aisya]

^ henna for girls only hehehehe.....

[mesmerized haze]

@ ^
in jogja and anyer I ever saw an artist that paint man's arms with henna
the paint was a gothic lines and curves just like dragon or something

it's really not only for women, depends on the creation 

---

A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy hot shot lawyer, was questioning Clyde. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer.

Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite cow, Bessie, into the..."

"I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question, please. Did you, or did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"

Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road...."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie".

Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favourite cow, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn't want to move.

However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning, so he went over to her.

After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, "How are you feeling?" "Now tell me, what the *$%# would you say?"


 

what would u say anyway ?!

    

[aisya]

^    

I will say ... I'm fine sir'  ( the fit words to safe my life hehehehehe....)

[aisya]

Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older.

One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich."

The second lady chimed in, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down."

The third one responded, " Well, I'm glad I don't have that problem; knock on wood," as she rapped her knuckles on the table, then told them "That must be the door, I'll get it!" 

[free_man]

Couple weeks ago a friend of mine sent me an article about one of the local news in Augusta, GA.

I'll make it  short.

There was a male customer in Best Buy (electronics store) was caught by some surveillance cameras, putting a laptop computer under his jacket. When confronted, the man knocked down an employee, drew a knife and ran for the door.

Outside the store, there were 4 Marines doing some charity program for the public. One of the Marines stopped the man, but was stabbed on the back (the injury did not appear to be severe).

After the police arrived at the scene. The man was transported to the local hospital with 2 broken arms, a broken ankle, a broken leg, several missing teeth, broken ribs, multiple contusions, assorted lacerations, a broken nose, and a broken jaw.

Guess what was written in the police report?

The police report was, the injuries that person had sustained was caused of slipped and fell of the curb after stabbing the Marine.



In this article it shows how the police were protecting the Marines. I thought it's pretty funny since it should've been written as the man was attacked by the Marines,  instead of reported as slipped and fell of the curb...

I'm quite sure it happens a lot here in Indonesia, especially when it comes to people with strong influences (a.k.a. high ranking officials, corruptors or mafias).

[mesmerized haze]

@ ^
miris...


It was a hot summer holiday, me and some friends were talking about monetary crisis. We were in my friend's dining room, ate hotdog and some slurpees.
Evelyn : I just hope that everything will be okay soon, and companies don't have to keep firing peoples
Me       : All we need is a cold hard cash from the investor and everything will be just okay, if they manage it well....
Marlyn : yeah agree, then i can live like before, have my car back, holidays in summer, good food, education for my kids

Sean (Marlyn's 4 years old son) : and toys too mommy ?
Marlyn : sure honey, and some education toys too

sean was pretty excited about it, he ran to his room and brought out some pennies

sean : let's  put this on the freezer mom, in next three hours there will be some cold hard cash

me, evelyn & marlyn :        

[aisya]

^ hahahahaha.... what a boy .... remind me with kids at "just go with it" movie ... creative kids

After the police arrived at the scene. The man was transported to the local hospital with 2 broken arms, a broken ankle, a broken leg, several missing teeth, broken ribs, multiple contusions, assorted lacerations, a broken nose, and a broken jaw.

Guess what was written in the police report?

The police report was, the injuries that person had sustained was caused of slipped and fell of the curb after stabbing the Marine.

I think the police too lazy to wrote them all , too long

yep yep .... just like Indonesian police....
I think most of police do the same thing because maybe the police think that they just criminal and they deserve it.
Wallahu 'alam 

[mesmerized haze]

@ ^
 
yeah I wish that crisis could be solved that simply easy 

[aisya]

^ Lets pray for that day hehehehe...

Wife (romanticly)        : I wanna tell you something.....

Husband                     : Its not good to talk while eating.

Wife                            : ................. 

(after eating greedily)

Husband (romanticly) : now tell me what you wanna say.

Wife                            : emmmh their was a cockroach in your food!!!

Husband                     : 

 
Ps : he ate greedily and it means cockroach taste good 

[Anis_WN]

Three Chinese men who are close friends want to be a US citizen.

The first one named Lu. When the proposal was approved by goverment, he changed his name to Luck. After that, he became rich. Every luck seems to follow him everywhere he goes.

The second one named Bu. Knowing the story of his friend, he then change his name to Buck. After that, he became rich too. It seems that he can have any buck so easy.

The third one named Fu. Thingking about his destiny, he was so hesitant to change his name.




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So, what happen to him then?




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Fu changed his name to Fun. After that, he became rich too. He became a great comedian.

[aisya]

^ hahahaha sucessfull immigrant ......

I think I will change my name become "ai$ya" so dollar follow me hehehehe....