@ jun
yup, lad is dude, bro or so
sorry for making thought it's for "lady"
@ pakde gio
oh wow
bunda haze .....
I like it that way, sounds charm but not too old either
feels honoured, thank u
@ mr.Lee
yeah that what exactly my mates were saying, sometime our ideas to help won't do along with the people we wanted to help
----
I guess I didn't make myself real clear before,
back there I was only teens, just like what I did in my land if I saw people having difficulties I approached them and asked them whether I can do some favor for them. And according to my mates in London, that's improper.
U come to them
only if they ask u to help
that's first lesson
My mate even told me a story, to made me obey his suggestion that time. So here it goes, his roommate was walking down to down town when he saw a girl, like shaking in cold. She wore a thin jacket which surely wasn't enough to cover her from early winter time. So this mate came closer to ask her whether she got lost or need help to find direction, because she really looks so confused. And what happened next was some unpredictable thing, she screamed and shout aloud told this mate to stay away and just leave. She stayed screaming like for 5 minutes and this mate walked away in such dumbfounded.
When he got back home, he told my mate about it and my mate said the girl could be in the middle of something, like drug transaction or so. If someone else appear the dealer will just leave and she won't get her things. That what certainly made her freak to death and hush away my mate's roommate.
Second,
inspite of being polite by asking destination, people could assumed that u impinge to their personal matters if u don't know them well enough. Well enough means like one college, u ever visit their homes, u know their middle name or some sort of closeness. If u just meet him regularly when u pick up ur mails, or regularly meet in the bus, shelter or library, it's not 'close' enough. And a "good day mate" or "Hai, how r u doing, mate" would be sufficient to show that u're trying to be polite
third,
when people ask u to help and it's just beyond ur capability, be sure to say NO
it's more to
assertiveness thing, as a javanesse I don't really good at it
so at first I always lack of time for my own lunch because I have to help some of my on duty mates cleaned up the class
or went to laundry a day faster or later than my schedule so I can take some of my mates' baskets too
took like 3-4 months until I can independently said that I do understand their 'unwritten rules'
and sharpened my assertive attitude as well
